Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Down in the dumps! :-(

Mmmm...not really sure why that is but I am definitely down in the dumps. Miserable cow I am today! Maybe that has something to do with the weather. It is cold and rainy and generally crap outside! Today is my day off and I don't want to go anywhere or do anything! I am really struggling with my beads at the moment. Sometimes I really feel like I can do this lampworking thing and then other times I honestly wonder why I put myself through it! It is hard to explain without sounding pompous but I am (I guess!) a needy person. I need to feel wanted, I need to feel like I am worth something to someone and selling beads leaves me wide open to the possibility of rejection.

2 weeks ago I sold the majority of my stock from my website, I haven't had a sale since. Now I completely realise that these things happen, my work is not everyone's taste etc etc etc but the little voice just on my right shoulder is saying "loser, told you you were crap at this, give up".

I am sorry for being so bloody melodramatic, crisis in confidence. I have no imagination at the moment for bead designs I am struggling to make stuff and this is not a good time. I have just borrowed £200 from my parents to pay for my stand at the Big Bead Show and I am going to fall flat on my face! I sit there with pen and paper and nothing, nada, zilch happens. I sit in front of my torch and ditto! I have made 2 sets on monday but they are just about as basic as you can get. Plain small donut bead with random dots whoopee!!!

Why do I do this to myself, this is supposed to be a hobby that I make a little money out of to "feed my glass habit" and now I am putting myself under pressure knowing I don't do well in these situations!


Right....enough Samantha.....pick yourself up and stop wallowing in self pity! Cheer up you miserable cow or no-one will read this blog let alone visit your shop and gaze lovingly at your wonderous goodies you make.

I am going now to make an effort with my daughter and to try to stop being miserable. I will return!!!

TTFNx (PS sorry!!!)


  1. Hi Sam

    Try not to worry - it happens to all of us at some point. I still get the confidence issues at times where everything I make is rubbish, I can't think of anything new to try or I haven't had a sale for while. It always rights itself in the end and it will for you too. I love your silver core beads btw - I still haven't managed to make a decent one of them. Rachel x

  2. Hi Rachel, thank you for your kind words! Hope I haven't scared you away!!! :-)

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  4. Poor you ~ dont you dare give up on yourself your beads are lovely. I think people are pulling in the "money reins" so they wont be buying the same. Dont be so hard on yourself and dont stop believing you can do it. We all have bad days and (time of the month)beat ourselves up.