Not about the beads.

Not today I am having an angry and upset evening. I will try to explain cos I think I am probably no different from much of the UK population but I don't think it is vocalised well. Now that is not to say I am going to be Mrs. Eloquent here but I sure am gonna give it a go.

I work 4 days a week as a university lecturer My wage is not to bad thank you although I did take quite a hit on the ole wage by dropping 1 day a week last September. Anyway back to the point I don't earn crap money. My husband works in the building trade for a firm so he earns a fair wage not brill but not bad so jointly we are (on paper) apparently fairly ok. Middle Britain so to speak. So I pay £700 month mortgage and this months childcare bill has just blown me out of the water for £600. The last 5 weeks childcare amounts to 172.5 hours. Bloody hell how much!!! I only work 30 hours ish a week!!! Well there goes my wages. gotta live off hubbys this month, food (approx £100 a week for family of 4), gas, electric, water, council tax ( somewhere in region of £300 for the month)

...Do you see what I am getting at. I work my arse off to be a contributing member of society and for what??? I don't have any frickin money! We earn to much to qualify for any child tax credit so I get nothing diddly squat. Why do I bother? Why do we bother trying to earn a decent wage, to contribute to society, to bring our children with the values about working and contributing etc when no bugger even bothers to say thank you and here is a little help.

I am NOT a charity case I most certainly do not expect state handouts but why the bloody hell am I being penalised for keeping most of the country afloat? The rich just don't bloody matter and the poor just get their frickin handouts and keep on laughing yet the majority get nothing. It all quite frankly makes me so bloody angry that I have spent the last hour sobbing. Why do I bother. And yet we will manage cos we always bloody do and therein lies the problem. We just all keep on getting by and no one says anything about the blatant injustice and deeply skewed support systems in this country.

I find out next week what primary school my daughter is going to. If I cannot get her into our school of choice I am in deep do do's. I will have no child care, she will be part time for a while after staring how the bloody hell am I supposed to work 4 days a week and drop off and pick up a child from school. The government want mums to go to work but it just don't work does it! Take for example the outcry when parents had to take days off cos the schools shut cos of the snow. This country is useless.

I love being British not that I have any experience of being anything else so my basis of comparison is extremely limited but I do love many things about this country but there are some inherent problems that the powers that be are completely ignorant about. They are so out of touch it is untrue. I don't imagine that other countries are any better and I would hate for you now to think that I am one of those moaners who whine and bitch but don't do anything. I am impotent what can I do? One small voice highly unlikely to make any difference.

I do want to make one small apology for those of you who have managed to read this far...I have made some sweeping statements about people on benefits etc and the rich I am acutely aware that there are many different circumstances and situations that lead people to be in the situations they are. You could argue that I did not have to have a second child and this is my own doing. Correct. I am also responsible for the 2 loans I have which have undoubtedly compunded my situation. Correct. So why am I moaning. Who knows....hormones I guess...

Sorry. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow

TTFN xx