Human nature not really at it's best!

We have had a very unfortunate incident in my street today. Sometime around 8am a fire engine arrived at the house opposite mine, out jumped the lovely men in uniform and in they went to do their job. Got a bit exciting for a while cos they had breathing apparatus on then suddenly the whole thing turned horrible! One of the elderly gentlemen who lived in the property was carried into the street in a state of major undress and was obviously in a very bad way! Both my girls were watching from the window as this apparently small incident took a turn for the worse. I pulled them both away from the window so they did not have to see the gentleman anymore but they already had seen enough!

What I am about to tell you somewhat shames me and I am not sure by what compulsion I did this but I continued to watch. I watched this poor elderly man lay on the cold damp pavement obviously in pain and the firemen unable to do much except give oxygen. I am not sure how long exactly but by my reckoning it was at least 20 minutes before an ambulance arrived and I watched...
I gave the firecrew a blanket and pillow that was it the extent of my assistance and I watched!

I have thought about this a lot this afternoon, I am a nurse so the incident itself did not distress me but I am completely bothered by what I term as my voyeurism. Obviously it is not voyeurism in the true sense of the word cos I got no pleasure whatsoever from watching this man but I watched. Whilst I was thinking about it I remembered watching the 9/11 thing on TV and at one point becoming aware of people who had made the decision to jump from the burning building rather than burn to death. I remember feeling angry that the media filmed and showed it but I watched it... What does this say about me as a person? What does it say about us as a human race? You see a car crash on the motorway and very often the delays and tailbacks are due to what my mum calls "pogging". People slowing down trying to get a good look! I like to think I am a good and nice person but right now I feel shitty! No other word for it plain shitty!!!

Douglas passed away at lunchtime. bless him and god rest his soul...